"I....I found someone," he says quietly. "I don't want to say who it was.
She...wanted to hurt a lot of people. It was all she wanted. It was all
she could think about, it was - all the way through her, like she'd been -
rewritten. She was hardly even a person any more."
His eyes are wide, as if he couldn't imagine anything more terrible. But
that's him thinking of Annie, he knows, not that terrible creature that
replaced her.
"I...I went looking for her," he says softly. "I didn't understand why, at
first, it was just...it was very important that I found her."
"It was easy. She was...she didn't sound like anyone else I'd heard. I could feel her before we'd even landed. I don't think I would have left the ship for anything else, even though..."
Even though he was being tortured, daily, as a lab rat.
"I...helped her," he murmurs, still barely believing his own memories, his
own experiences. "I had...before, I'd only ever known what people were
thinking, but it was...it changed. I could reach into her head, and...put
it right."
He'd been more than his tormentors had ever even suspected, stronger and
more capable, but he hadn't wanted to do anything but heal.
It's not as if this has passed him by altogether, but he doesn't trust
himself. Hearing Elizabeth say it - and why would she lie? - that makes
it real.
"Are we...the people that we are in a breach...do you think we're like
them?"
His own powers, as easily abused as they are, can they too be used for
something better?
She sighs softly and settles a little more closely against him, unwilling to accept that she needs the comfort of comforting but reaching for it nonetheless.
"All the breaches I've been through- there are always parts that are familiar, parts that aren't. I don't know if I'm the same person in them, just with a different background- or if the Admiral is manipulating us."
Ma had often told him that God sent tests to the faithful - implying at
once that he was among the tests rather than the faithful - but he doesn't
like giving the Admiral such a promotion, even in his head.
He smiles back, looking for all the world like he's halfway worried that
the Admiral will strike him down at any moment, just for doubting his
power. He controls everything here; it doesn't feel like there's very
much 'just' about him.
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Date: 2017-03-27 10:53 am (UTC)But he's not meeting her eyes, because he knows he's not a good liar, and even worse when he's challenged.
"But you weren't hurt badly," he says, as if he's trying to underline it, like that's all that counts.
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Date: 2017-03-27 10:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 10:56 am (UTC)He fidgets.
"I....I found someone," he says quietly. "I don't want to say who it was. She...wanted to hurt a lot of people. It was all she wanted. It was all she could think about, it was - all the way through her, like she'd been - rewritten. She was hardly even a person any more."
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Date: 2017-03-27 10:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 11:06 am (UTC)He shakes his head.
"No, ma'am. she...everything she wanted to do, I...I saw it, first."
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Date: 2017-03-27 11:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 11:25 am (UTC)"No!"
His eyes are wide, as if he couldn't imagine anything more terrible. But that's him thinking of Annie, he knows, not that terrible creature that replaced her.
"I...I went looking for her," he says softly. "I didn't understand why, at first, it was just...it was very important that I found her."
no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 11:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 11:36 am (UTC)He nods, dreamlike.
"It was easy. She was...she didn't sound like anyone else I'd heard. I could feel her before we'd even landed. I don't think I would have left the ship for anything else, even though..."
Even though he was being tortured, daily, as a lab rat.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 01:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 02:10 pm (UTC)"I...helped her," he murmurs, still barely believing his own memories, his own experiences. "I had...before, I'd only ever known what people were thinking, but it was...it changed. I could reach into her head, and...put it right."
He'd been more than his tormentors had ever even suspected, stronger and more capable, but he hadn't wanted to do anything but heal.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 02:14 pm (UTC)Just like she did, in a way. She had cunning and strength, and she did something good.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 02:18 pm (UTC)It's not as if this has passed him by altogether, but he doesn't trust himself. Hearing Elizabeth say it - and why would she lie? - that makes it real.
"Are we...the people that we are in a breach...do you think we're like them?"
His own powers, as easily abused as they are, can they too be used for something better?
no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 02:57 pm (UTC)"All the breaches I've been through- there are always parts that are familiar, parts that aren't. I don't know if I'm the same person in them, just with a different background- or if the Admiral is manipulating us."
no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 03:07 pm (UTC)Credence's brow furrows.
"Why would he do that?"
Ma had often told him that God sent tests to the faithful - implying at once that he was among the tests rather than the faithful - but he doesn't like giving the Admiral such a promotion, even in his head.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 03:08 pm (UTC)"It's just the Admiral, Credence. Who knows."
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Date: 2017-03-27 03:18 pm (UTC)He smiles back, looking for all the world like he's halfway worried that the Admiral will strike him down at any moment, just for doubting his power. He controls everything here; it doesn't feel like there's very much 'just' about him.
"Did you? Um. Learn anything."
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Date: 2017-03-27 03:20 pm (UTC)There's more there. Of course there is- but as much as she can talk to him about his life, it's hard to talk about her own.
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Date: 2017-03-27 03:24 pm (UTC)That gets another smile, twitching, nervous.
"Maybe you'll be able to. So many strange things happen here."
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Date: 2017-03-27 03:25 pm (UTC)She bumps her shoulder against his, then reaches down to take his hand.
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Date: 2017-03-27 03:29 pm (UTC)He wraps his fingers around hers and sighs out a soft breath. He's relaxing, very slowly.
"Did you know her here as well? Before..."
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Date: 2017-03-27 03:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 03:57 pm (UTC)"Oh," Credence says, then blinks. "Did I seem...not nice? Or not harmless?"
It's not really a joke.
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Date: 2017-03-27 05:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 05:17 pm (UTC)"Oh." That makes sense. "I - yes. I think I did," he admits softly.
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