Momentarily, she feels a stab of guilt. She's been wanting him to say this, but now that he is it feels selfish. She wants to help him, but he might have arrived at this conclusion because of her. Because of her manipulation.
"You could have that," she tells him, keeping her voice soft as well, not wanting to startle him.
A more self-aware person would feel the pattern emerging here. A kindly, almost parental figure reaching out with the affection he's been utterly starved of, offering him something his life is sorely lacking - an offer that will, inevitably, become conditional.
He just doesn't see it. Couldn't if he tried. What could he even give her, here, where they're all as good as powerless?
He looks frightened just by the idea of it, the thought of allowing himself
to read anything that isn't directly related to the Scripture, or the
life he should be leading, or the many sins of witchcraft and how to
contend with them.
It's tempting. But he knows he's slow-witted, that he's foolish and
ignorant. It'll be humiliating, having to expose that to Elizabeth - and
frustrating for her, to watch him fumble through his attempts to understand
something she clearly holds so close to her heart..
"I don't mean to take up your time, Elizabeth. I'm not smart at all."
He doesn't even know what to do with that. He knows he's feeble-minded -
why would his mother have told him so every other day, if it weren't true?
- but it's not as if he can convince her. Eventually she'll just...see it.
"If you're sure. I'd...I'd like to read with you."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2017-03-28 06:23 pm (UTC)"I want that too," he confesses, an almost inaudible whisper, because wanting things for himself has never gone well in the past.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-28 06:44 pm (UTC)"You could have that," she tells him, keeping her voice soft as well, not wanting to startle him.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-28 07:15 pm (UTC)He just doesn't see it. Couldn't if he tried. What could he even give her, here, where they're all as good as powerless?
"How?"
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Date: 2017-03-29 02:07 pm (UTC)He wouldn't have to join the KGB, or any sort of military effort. But one more soul won for the effort just feels like it's worth it.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-29 02:18 pm (UTC)"Yes." Shame makes his already pale face blanch further. "I - I haven't read it, I'm sorry."
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Date: 2017-03-29 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-29 02:36 pm (UTC)He looks frightened just by the idea of it, the thought of allowing himself to read anything that isn't directly related to the Scripture, or the life he should be leading, or the many sins of witchcraft and how to contend with them.
But she's never led him wrong before.
"I - I'll try," he whispers.
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Date: 2017-03-29 02:46 pm (UTC)Like it's bible study.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-29 02:53 pm (UTC)"Oh - "
It's tempting. But he knows he's slow-witted, that he's foolish and ignorant. It'll be humiliating, having to expose that to Elizabeth - and frustrating for her, to watch him fumble through his attempts to understand something she clearly holds so close to her heart..
"I don't mean to take up your time, Elizabeth. I'm not smart at all."
no subject
Date: 2017-03-29 02:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-29 03:20 pm (UTC)He doesn't even know what to do with that. He knows he's feeble-minded - why would his mother have told him so every other day, if it weren't true? - but it's not as if he can convince her. Eventually she'll just...see it.
"If you're sure. I'd...I'd like to read with you."