ic inbox

[credere]

 [ voice | video | text | spam ]

Comments

[credere]

"I..."

Credence chews his bottom lip for a moment.

"I guess you could? I mean, if he wants you to go away he can just tell you that, right...?"

[magician_king]

"I don't think so. A request for space is a request for space, and even nudging that boundary can feel like a bomb detonating."

He admits, and gets back up to go pour that heated water.

[credere]

Credence has never in his life asked someone for space and therefore struggles to consider things like that.

"Have you talked to Fives?"

[magician_king]

"Yeah. He, uh. He got in touch with me during the port and asked me to track Jedao down? He didn't know there was anything wrong."

He says, and oh good, now he can't breathe.

"I said I couldn't do it, and he said so much for being family, so. I really might be broken up with? You take sugar, right?"

[credere]

"I - yes, thank you - did you tell him that Jedao didn't want you talking to him?"

[magician_king]

"Yeah."

He admits, and comes over, face burning now.

"But I guess from his perspective him being safe in the moment is more important than what I feel about how boundaries should be."

[credere]

Credence thinks about this. Tries to imagine what he'd do in Quentin's position, in Fives'.

"Did he think Jedao might be in danger?"

[magician_king]

"I guess he must have."

He puts the teacup down, and rubs his hands over his face, and then excuses himself to go find a tissue. His nose is getting stuck.

[credere]

Credence frowns at the table.

"Why couldn't he go look for him? If he was that worried."

[magician_king]

"He did. He found him too. And it sounds like I was wrong about it and he actually was in trouble?"

Blowing his nose, quickly, before coming back to join him at the table.

"I mean. I thought he was just hiding from everyone."

[credere]

"....I think you should talk to him. I mean. If he'll give you a hedgehog he doesn't even know you want, but he won't talk to you, then he's not being a very good - boyfriend."

Credence frowns.

"What you want, how you...feel. That's important too."

Part 'several' of 'infinite' statements he could stand to internalise.

[magician_king]

"But don't you think everyone deserves someone who can just be the damage sink once in a while?"

He says, and sips his tea.

"He's down. I'm going to be up until he can find his feet once more. It'd be just- I want to be in the kind of relationship where we're there for one another when we're in need, and I'm pretty sure he's the one right now who needs most."

[credere]

Credence just looks completely bewildered.

"But....I don't understand. You're not being there for him. You're avoiding him. Are those the same thing?"

[magician_king]

"If what he needs is to be avoided, even though I just want to go to him- isn't it?"

He says, looking just as baffled.

"He's allowed to want what he wants."

[credere]

"I don't know. If - if I said I needed some time alone and then disappeared for more than a week and got hurt, I'd want Shiro to see if I was okay," is all he can offer.

[magician_king]

"Should I text him?"

He should text him.

"I've been recording books for him to listen to."

[credere]

"....You should go see him," Credence says, after a pause for thought. "If you send a message and he doesn't answer, you don't know if he's choosing not to, or if he just hasn't seen it."

[magician_king]

"I don't want to make him feel cornered."

He says, shaking his head.

"He said really specifically that he would call me when it was okay to see each other again."

[credere]

Credence sits back in his chair. He just needs to shut up. Quentin never even asked for his advice, not really. He obviously doesn't want it, so.

"Okay. Thank you for the tea."

[magician_king]

"I'm sorry. I'm being such a dcik. I'm just- paralyzed with terror."

Good fucking God.

"Sorry C."

[credere]

He should have brought one of his cats. He doubts hugging Pope would be very nice.

"...I just think that if you're worried it's already over, you can't make it worse?"

[magician_king]

"Unless crowding him would hurt him. I can live with being dumped, I don't want to hurt him."

Is the only way he can think of explaining the difference.

"But you're right. I'll wait until the two week mark even and then I'll find him."

[credere]

"I hope you can fix things. I - I don't want you to lose what makes you happy."

It's the best way he can put it.

[magician_king]

"Thanks."

He says, and scrubs his face again.

"Fuck, I forgot the downside of dating."

[credere]

"....People can be very complicated," Credence offers, cautiously, since he himself is navigating both sides for the first time.