ic inbox

[credere]

 [ voice | video | text | spam ]

Comments

[magician_king]

"Not really."

He admits, not if Credence doesn't remember feeling bullied into it.

"Do you ever get- that feeling where you're sure the people who know you are just tolerating you because they're too polite to say so?"

[credere]

"Yes," Credence says, with feeling - then gives Quentin a startled look as if he should be taking a hint. "Um, if you don't want to work with me any more, I won't take it badly, I promise."

[magician_king]

"No. The opposite."

He says, and looks up at him, trying not to look openly insecure and imploring- but how do you ask for validation when the thing you're worried about is pushing your friends into doing what you want? His ears go red, and he struggles for a second, trying to think desperately of some way to change the topic.

[credere]

"Oh - "

He thinks back, now, to what Rey did when he was bracing for her to hurt him and she did nothing of the sort. It was good, and as much as everything she did now is tainted by his absence -

"Um. This might be strange. I'm sorry."

'This' is a hug.

[magician_king]

It's the right thing to do. Quentin startles, then lurches into it, forehead dropping onto Credence's shoulder, nervous little sound escaping the back of his throat. His hand comes up to Credence's shoulder, and he hangs on good and tight.

"Thanks."

He says, a little croakily.

"You're a good friend, you know that?"

[credere]

"So are you," Credence tells him. "I've - never known anybody like you before."

[magician_king]

"You either."

Agrees Quentin, straightening up with a steadying breath and giving him a slightly more settled smile.

[credere]

Credence smiles back - a real smile, unpracticed, but one he can see.

"I - I want to do everything I can, to be a good friend."

[magician_king]

"You are." Promises Quentin, sitting up and scrubbing his hair back. Yes, good. "Thanks."

So;

"You want to become an animagus, then?"

[credere]

"I - "

He flushes.

"I liked being a fox. I want to be able to do that, whenever I want to."

[magician_king]

"You might not end up a fox. As I understand it, it comes from within you. So you'll probably be..." he thinks this over, looking him up and down, "like a meerkat. Or a barnswallow, or maybe a wolf or a panda. Or is that patronuses? I know one of them you don't pick."

[credere]

Credence does not know what a meerkat is, and he'd struggle to identify a panda from a line-up.

"What are patronuses?"

[magician_king]

"There are some magical creatures that feed on human emotions. They're black and ragged and wicked, and they come up to you and draw in a breath and take all the goodness out, leaving you only with misery, chill and despair. To protect yourself against them, you yell expecto patronum, and a literal embodiment of joy in quicksilver comes from the tip of your wand. It's an animal, one that kind of represents you. I think Luna's was- actually I don't remember."

He says, shaking his head.

[credere]

"Oh," he says, and looks - troubled, thoughtful. "Those magical creatures, are they - like me?"

Black, ragged, wicked, parasitic - he can't not ask.

[magician_king]

"No. They're called dementors. I think it's pretty different- but I'll research to see if there's any interaction between your obscurus and them."

He says, thinking about it too, brow creasing.

[credere]

Credence nods.

"I mean, I don't - I've never - breathed anything out of anybody," he says, then checks himself: "I don't think I have."

His command over the Obscurus is a very difficult thing to describe, and his recollection after the fact is imperfect.

[magician_king]

"Good." Says Quentin, and; "So if you're going to learn magic, you can ask Alec to ask the Admiral to build you in a failsafe. Something where if you say the right spell your magic shuts off until he turns it back on, in case you feel it getting out of hand, if you're worried about going off like a firecracker?"

[credere]

That summons a worried frown.

"But - people keep saying I should learn magic for when I'm in the real world," he says. "When I won't be able to just - switch it off."

And this, while tempting, runs directly counter to that.

[magician_king]

"Sure. But whenever you learn a skill, you start with precautions in place then take them away when you get confident. Tight rope walking with a net. Bicycling with training wheels. Fencing with a practice sword made of wood."

Reasons Quentin.

"You should end the arrangement before you leave the barge, but I think it wouldn't hurt for you to know you've got a bit of extra help, while you get used to it all."

[credere]

"I - I guess. I mean - you're right," he says, quickly, having clearly been told at some point that prevarication like I guess is deeply discourteous. "But - I don't know if I can be confident while I'm still - it'd be like - being on a tightrope, but never being able to fall."

Learning to cycle with training wheels only teaches you to cycle with training wheels, not that he knows that.

[magician_king]

"You know best. If it feels wrong to you, listen to that, and don't do it."

Is Quentin's faithful advice.

"Is that what you're feeling?"

[credere]

"I - I think so," he says quietly. "I already - it feels like it's - like it comes faster, now. Because I know I can't really hurt anybody. If I still feel like that when I really could hurt someone..."

He can see the rationale of an emergency brake, but if he just keeps pushing it, he'll never learn to drive. So to speak..

[magician_king]

"Okay."

Says Quentin, a little surprised, but in a pleasant way.

"You've got this, Credence. And I'm here for you."

If he ever needs.

[credere]

Quentin's confidence in him is so completely unfailing and so utterly unconditional that Credence has absolutely no idea what to do with it. It's just as well that he isn't playing a long game, because if he was to turn on a dime at this point and say that his friendship came with certain strings attached? Credence would bend over backwards. He'd kill himself - and several others - in the pursuit of Quentin's approval.

There's a practical matter, too.

"I just...could..."

He fidgets.

"The Obscurus. Could it - hurt you?"

[magician_king]

"Well-"

Says Quentin, whose first impulse is to say 'absolutely not,' but that feels like asking for trouble when he's never actually seen one in action.

"I don't think so. You know I took down Alice when she was a niffin. It's objectively very dangerous, so if it jumped on me in my sleep it'd be fucked- but if you turned right now I could probably take you."

And, who incidentally will never develop strings, or turn out to be Grindelwald or Voldemort or any other kind of dark lord. Just Quentin.