"Sure. But whenever you learn a skill, you start with precautions in place then take them away when you get confident. Tight rope walking with a net. Bicycling with training wheels. Fencing with a practice sword made of wood."
Reasons Quentin.
"You should end the arrangement before you leave the barge, but I think it wouldn't hurt for you to know you've got a bit of extra help, while you get used to it all."
"I - I guess. I mean - you're right," he says, quickly, having clearly
been told at some point that prevarication like I guess is deeply
discourteous. "But - I don't know if I can be confident while I'm still
- it'd be like - being on a tightrope, but never being able to fall."
Learning to cycle with training wheels only teaches you to cycle with
training wheels, not that he knows that.
"I - I think so," he says quietly. "I already - it feels like it's - like
it comes faster, now. Because I know I can't really hurt anybody. If I
still feel like that when I really could hurt someone..."
He can see the rationale of an emergency brake, but if he just keeps
pushing it, he'll never learn to drive. So to speak..
Quentin's confidence in him is so completely unfailing and so utterly
unconditional that Credence has absolutely no idea what to do with it.
It's just as well that he isn't playing a long game, because if he was to
turn on a dime at this point and say that his friendship came with certain
strings attached? Credence would bend over backwards. He'd kill himself -
and several others - in the pursuit of Quentin's approval.
Says Quentin, whose first impulse is to say 'absolutely not,' but that feels like asking for trouble when he's never actually seen one in action.
"I don't think so. You know I took down Alice when she was a niffin. It's objectively very dangerous, so if it jumped on me in my sleep it'd be fucked- but if you turned right now I could probably take you."
And, who incidentally will never develop strings, or turn out to be Grindelwald or Voldemort or any other kind of dark lord. Just Quentin.
"Actually, I wouldn't think so. From what I can tell, you're top ten percent."
He says, because;
"You do have to be careful, which you don't need me to tell you- but when you can get your magic turned in the right direction, you're going to be one of those people we rely on to hold the barge during a fight, to keep the non-powered safe."
Credence looks at him suddenly, right in the face - because he needs to, to
know he's not lying.
"Do you - really think so?"
Every conversation so far about using his magic has boiled down to being
about keeping people safe from him. Not from some external threat he
might protect them from.
"I told you once when we very first met that magic beats back the darkness. That a magician uses his power to break the rules of a world that has tried to break him. Magic can be the secret spring inside your chest-"
He says, looking him right in the eyes, and means this.
"You know I love it. There are so many reasons why."
Sometimes, when he's feeling particularly low, he goes back to the
reassuring thought that Ma will never hurt Modesty again - but then he
remembers he hurt her too, made her watch the Obscurus kill their family
and tear apart their home.
"I - I'd like that. I'd like to do more than just...not hurt people?"
"Hey," says Quentin, "if you want that, you can take other steps towards it. Ask Alec about setting you up with someone who'll help you in the gym, or teach you tactics."
He says, thinking for other ideas, other things to interest them.
"This one's nicer. It's about a boy who pops into a shop one day and gets given a mysterious egg- and his decision to protect the thing he becomes responsible for."
He says, with a little smile. It's been a long time since he read it.
"It's part of a series. Jennifer Murdley's Toad, the Talking Skull, the Monster's Ring. But Jeremy Thatcher was the best one, if you ask me."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2017-11-21 12:48 pm (UTC)Reasons Quentin.
"You should end the arrangement before you leave the barge, but I think it wouldn't hurt for you to know you've got a bit of extra help, while you get used to it all."
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Date: 2017-11-21 12:58 pm (UTC)"I - I guess. I mean - you're right," he says, quickly, having clearly been told at some point that prevarication like I guess is deeply discourteous. "But - I don't know if I can be confident while I'm still - it'd be like - being on a tightrope, but never being able to fall."
Learning to cycle with training wheels only teaches you to cycle with training wheels, not that he knows that.
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Date: 2017-11-21 02:15 pm (UTC)Is Quentin's faithful advice.
"Is that what you're feeling?"
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Date: 2017-11-21 02:22 pm (UTC)"I - I think so," he says quietly. "I already - it feels like it's - like it comes faster, now. Because I know I can't really hurt anybody. If I still feel like that when I really could hurt someone..."
He can see the rationale of an emergency brake, but if he just keeps pushing it, he'll never learn to drive. So to speak..
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Date: 2017-11-21 02:42 pm (UTC)Says Quentin, a little surprised, but in a pleasant way.
"You've got this, Credence. And I'm here for you."
If he ever needs.
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Date: 2017-11-21 02:45 pm (UTC)Quentin's confidence in him is so completely unfailing and so utterly unconditional that Credence has absolutely no idea what to do with it. It's just as well that he isn't playing a long game, because if he was to turn on a dime at this point and say that his friendship came with certain strings attached? Credence would bend over backwards. He'd kill himself - and several others - in the pursuit of Quentin's approval.
There's a practical matter, too.
"I just...could..."
He fidgets.
"The Obscurus. Could it - hurt you?"
no subject
Date: 2017-11-21 04:03 pm (UTC)Says Quentin, whose first impulse is to say 'absolutely not,' but that feels like asking for trouble when he's never actually seen one in action.
"I don't think so. You know I took down Alice when she was a niffin. It's objectively very dangerous, so if it jumped on me in my sleep it'd be fucked- but if you turned right now I could probably take you."
And, who incidentally will never develop strings, or turn out to be Grindelwald or Voldemort or any other kind of dark lord. Just Quentin.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-21 04:38 pm (UTC)For better or for worse.
"That's - good. I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of other people who could, as well, but..."
But it's specifically important that he likely can't hurt Quentin.
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Date: 2017-11-21 05:40 pm (UTC)He says, because;
"You do have to be careful, which you don't need me to tell you- but when you can get your magic turned in the right direction, you're going to be one of those people we rely on to hold the barge during a fight, to keep the non-powered safe."
no subject
Date: 2017-11-21 05:44 pm (UTC)Credence looks at him suddenly, right in the face - because he needs to, to know he's not lying.
"Do you - really think so?"
Every conversation so far about using his magic has boiled down to being about keeping people safe from him. Not from some external threat he might protect them from.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-21 05:56 pm (UTC)He says, looking him right in the eyes, and means this.
"You know I love it. There are so many reasons why."
no subject
Date: 2017-11-21 06:09 pm (UTC)"Yes."
He's still reeling.
"Sorry, I just - nobody's said anything like that before? About saving people."
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Date: 2017-11-21 08:43 pm (UTC)In Quentin's gentle experience.
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Date: 2017-11-22 08:10 am (UTC)"Oh."
Sometimes, when he's feeling particularly low, he goes back to the reassuring thought that Ma will never hurt Modesty again - but then he remembers he hurt her too, made her watch the Obscurus kill their family and tear apart their home.
"I - I'd like that. I'd like to do more than just...not hurt people?"
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Date: 2017-11-22 12:34 pm (UTC)He says, thinking for other ideas, other things to interest them.
"And there are books to read."
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Date: 2017-11-22 12:39 pm (UTC)"What kind of books?"
He's hesitating over why the gym would help him, but they'll get back to that.
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Date: 2017-11-22 12:45 pm (UTC)The Road, he wants to say, then his filter kicks in and he realizes he'd better not destroy his best friend. What's better?
"Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher."
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Date: 2017-11-22 01:01 pm (UTC)It's such a ludicrous title that it almost startles a laugh out of him.
"I might - get it wrong again. Like the last book I read."
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Date: 2017-11-22 01:28 pm (UTC)He says, with a little smile. It's been a long time since he read it.
"It's part of a series. Jennifer Murdley's Toad, the Talking Skull, the Monster's Ring. But Jeremy Thatcher was the best one, if you ask me."
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Date: 2017-11-22 01:34 pm (UTC)"Okay. I'll, um - I'll see if the library has it."
He feels like he ought to redeem himself for his utter misunderstanding of his first attempt with a recommendation of Quentin's.
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Date: 2017-11-22 03:49 pm (UTC)He says, smiling warmly to think of all the books that might be in store for him.
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Date: 2017-11-22 07:12 pm (UTC)"Thank you. And, um - I won't say anything about it."
On the network, as he had before.
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Date: 2017-11-22 08:45 pm (UTC)He says, with a little wince.
"But this won't have anything like that."
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Date: 2017-11-23 02:31 am (UTC)"Okay. That's - thank you. I guess I'm - still getting used to reading books that aren't..."
The Bible and related religious screeds.
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Date: 2017-11-23 03:15 am (UTC)He wonders, realizing he doesn't actually know.
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