He straighens up and rolls his eyes, taking off the pads. "You didn't do
that because you were angry, you did that to prove a point to me. Not the
same."
"Okay," he says, considering that. "Okay, I get that, I hear you. Your
point is, why shouldn't you smash up your room if you're gonna have to fix
the gym, too?"
He feels kind of useless right now. He knows this helps him, he knows this
has helpd a lot of guys he's known, but that hadn't been magic. He got him
the wand, and that's about the extent of how he's helped.
"I guess if you don't like to do it anyway, then it's kinda useless. Except
to keep fit and get strong, I guess."
"Really? What, because you're just gonna magic 'em down? We run into weird
shit with the Barge all the time, you gotta be able to defend yourself
without magic, too."
It just seems-- dangerous to rely on something too much.
"If I don't have magic then I'm never going to be good enough to defend
myself against someone who can fight well with their bare hands. I don't
mind the death toll."
He hangs on to the bag as he thinks that over. "Okay. I don't-- I mean, I
dunno enough about your world to tell you you need it, back home. I talked
to Quentin about magic but I don't think your magic works the same as his,
anyway. So maybe you're right. But I wanted you to have a way to-- to
defend yourself, or to work off energy in a better way than breaking stuff."
His shoulders drop but he nods, letting out a breath. It's true, but it's
embarrassing.
"Seems like most of what I can do for you is ask the Admiral for stuff. I
tried asking Quentin about the magic stuff but it ain't the same, and
anyway I still can't do magic. And I get bein' angry, but when I get
angry I just hurt my knuckles. It ain't the same."
And he really, really wants to help him. Not for any kind of a deal, but
because he likes him, and he feels responsible.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2019-02-12 12:38 pm (UTC)"Sure, but it'll cost you less time to just destroy a bag in the gym instead of your whole room," he points out.
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Date: 2019-02-12 12:43 pm (UTC)"Other people use the gym," still relentlessly rational, though he's hitting harder now.
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Date: 2019-02-12 12:46 pm (UTC)He can take it, no problem, taking it as a good sign that he's putting more into it. "Sure. So what?"
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Date: 2019-02-12 12:49 pm (UTC)"So, they need to use the bags. And it's hard to get all the sand back in the right place."
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Date: 2019-02-12 12:50 pm (UTC)"You leave that to the supervising wardens," he says, with raised eyebrows: i.e., him.
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Date: 2019-02-12 12:53 pm (UTC)One-two. One-one-two.
"Why don't you want me to take responsibility?"
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Date: 2019-02-12 12:55 pm (UTC)"What d'you think you should be taking responsibility for?"
Specifics, he means.
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Date: 2019-02-12 01:04 pm (UTC)"Things like..."
He stops punching, turns his head, and stares very hard at the closest suspended bag until the chain snaps and it hits the ground.
"Things like that."
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Date: 2019-02-12 01:10 pm (UTC)He straighens up and rolls his eyes, taking off the pads. "You didn't do that because you were angry, you did that to prove a point to me. Not the same."
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Date: 2019-02-12 01:20 pm (UTC)"If I'm not responsible for things I do when I'm angry then I shouldn't be here," he says a bit stiffly.
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Date: 2019-02-12 01:21 pm (UTC)"Okay," he says, considering that. "Okay, I get that, I hear you. Your point is, why shouldn't you smash up your room if you're gonna have to fix the gym, too?"
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Date: 2019-02-12 01:25 pm (UTC)"No. My point is, I should smash up my room instead because nobody gets hurt that way."
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Date: 2019-02-12 01:30 pm (UTC)"What if goin' boxing could stop it from getting to that point? You think it could?"
He's dragging over a bag, the chain rattling as he pulls it along the rail.
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Date: 2019-02-12 01:33 pm (UTC)"No. I don't think so. Being able to do magic with a wand is...helping."
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Date: 2019-02-12 01:37 pm (UTC)"Okay. Alright, okay-- uh..."
He feels kind of useless right now. He knows this helps him, he knows this has helpd a lot of guys he's known, but that hadn't been magic. He got him the wand, and that's about the extent of how he's helped.
"I guess if you don't like to do it anyway, then it's kinda useless. Except to keep fit and get strong, I guess."
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Date: 2019-02-12 01:53 pm (UTC)"I just...don't understand what the point is? I don't think I'll ever need to punch anyone."
He's never exercised for its own sake. Never needed to. Certainly never consumed the extra calories to support it.
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Date: 2019-02-12 02:14 pm (UTC)"Really? What, because you're just gonna magic 'em down? We run into weird shit with the Barge all the time, you gotta be able to defend yourself without magic, too."
It just seems-- dangerous to rely on something too much.
"But I'm not gonna make you."
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Date: 2019-02-12 02:17 pm (UTC)"If I don't have magic then I'm never going to be good enough to defend myself against someone who can fight well with their bare hands. I don't mind the death toll."
Rational, right?
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Date: 2019-02-12 02:28 pm (UTC)He hangs on to the bag as he thinks that over. "Okay. I don't-- I mean, I dunno enough about your world to tell you you need it, back home. I talked to Quentin about magic but I don't think your magic works the same as his, anyway. So maybe you're right. But I wanted you to have a way to-- to defend yourself, or to work off energy in a better way than breaking stuff."
But like he said: he won't make him.
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Date: 2019-02-12 02:36 pm (UTC)"You want a way to help me that you understand," he says, not accusingly, it just...seems true.
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Date: 2019-02-12 02:49 pm (UTC)His shoulders drop but he nods, letting out a breath. It's true, but it's embarrassing.
"Seems like most of what I can do for you is ask the Admiral for stuff. I tried asking Quentin about the magic stuff but it ain't the same, and anyway I still can't do magic. And I get bein' angry, but when I get angry I just hurt my knuckles. It ain't the same."
And he really, really wants to help him. Not for any kind of a deal, but because he likes him, and he feels responsible.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 03:05 pm (UTC)Credence squints at him.
"You know I'm not...just a wizard, don't you?"
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Date: 2019-02-12 03:08 pm (UTC)"I know, but the anger thing, the reason things break, that's tied in to your magic, right?"
He's practically squirming, glad the gym is practically empty.
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Date: 2019-02-12 03:20 pm (UTC)"I was angry before I started deliberately using the Obscurus to do anything about it," he points out, quietly.
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Date: 2019-02-12 03:22 pm (UTC)"Alright, so? You do now, right?"
Ray is under no illusion that he can help with the source of his anger.
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