He feels kind of useless right now. He knows this helps him, he knows this
has helpd a lot of guys he's known, but that hadn't been magic. He got him
the wand, and that's about the extent of how he's helped.
"I guess if you don't like to do it anyway, then it's kinda useless. Except
to keep fit and get strong, I guess."
"Really? What, because you're just gonna magic 'em down? We run into weird
shit with the Barge all the time, you gotta be able to defend yourself
without magic, too."
It just seems-- dangerous to rely on something too much.
"If I don't have magic then I'm never going to be good enough to defend
myself against someone who can fight well with their bare hands. I don't
mind the death toll."
He hangs on to the bag as he thinks that over. "Okay. I don't-- I mean, I
dunno enough about your world to tell you you need it, back home. I talked
to Quentin about magic but I don't think your magic works the same as his,
anyway. So maybe you're right. But I wanted you to have a way to-- to
defend yourself, or to work off energy in a better way than breaking stuff."
His shoulders drop but he nods, letting out a breath. It's true, but it's
embarrassing.
"Seems like most of what I can do for you is ask the Admiral for stuff. I
tried asking Quentin about the magic stuff but it ain't the same, and
anyway I still can't do magic. And I get bein' angry, but when I get
angry I just hurt my knuckles. It ain't the same."
And he really, really wants to help him. Not for any kind of a deal, but
because he likes him, and he feels responsible.
"I can talk to you just fine," he replies, frowning. "But you say
that smashing shit makes you feel better, plus you're afraid of hurting
other people, so it ain't got anything to do with me getting you.
You think I don't know how to talk to you?"
He might have a point, actually: he's been twisting himself in knots trying
to figure out whether it matters, and he's mostly come out on the side of
it does.
"It's just...we don't need to talk about magic. Ever. My first warden
didn't have magic so we just didn't talk about it. He taught me to play
Mario Kart."
"...I dunno what that is, but okay," he says, blinking fast against-- what,
exactly, he doesn't know. "Maybe that's why I wanted to take you boxing.
'Cause that's what I do at home, too. I work, I go boxing, I watch hockey."
Luckily his work is exciting to compensate for his empty social life.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 01:30 pm (UTC)"What if goin' boxing could stop it from getting to that point? You think it could?"
He's dragging over a bag, the chain rattling as he pulls it along the rail.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 01:33 pm (UTC)"No. I don't think so. Being able to do magic with a wand is...helping."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 01:37 pm (UTC)"Okay. Alright, okay-- uh..."
He feels kind of useless right now. He knows this helps him, he knows this has helpd a lot of guys he's known, but that hadn't been magic. He got him the wand, and that's about the extent of how he's helped.
"I guess if you don't like to do it anyway, then it's kinda useless. Except to keep fit and get strong, I guess."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 01:53 pm (UTC)"I just...don't understand what the point is? I don't think I'll ever need to punch anyone."
He's never exercised for its own sake. Never needed to. Certainly never consumed the extra calories to support it.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 02:14 pm (UTC)"Really? What, because you're just gonna magic 'em down? We run into weird shit with the Barge all the time, you gotta be able to defend yourself without magic, too."
It just seems-- dangerous to rely on something too much.
"But I'm not gonna make you."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 02:17 pm (UTC)"If I don't have magic then I'm never going to be good enough to defend myself against someone who can fight well with their bare hands. I don't mind the death toll."
Rational, right?
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 02:28 pm (UTC)He hangs on to the bag as he thinks that over. "Okay. I don't-- I mean, I dunno enough about your world to tell you you need it, back home. I talked to Quentin about magic but I don't think your magic works the same as his, anyway. So maybe you're right. But I wanted you to have a way to-- to defend yourself, or to work off energy in a better way than breaking stuff."
But like he said: he won't make him.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 02:36 pm (UTC)"You want a way to help me that you understand," he says, not accusingly, it just...seems true.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 02:49 pm (UTC)His shoulders drop but he nods, letting out a breath. It's true, but it's embarrassing.
"Seems like most of what I can do for you is ask the Admiral for stuff. I tried asking Quentin about the magic stuff but it ain't the same, and anyway I still can't do magic. And I get bein' angry, but when I get angry I just hurt my knuckles. It ain't the same."
And he really, really wants to help him. Not for any kind of a deal, but because he likes him, and he feels responsible.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 03:05 pm (UTC)Credence squints at him.
"You know I'm not...just a wizard, don't you?"
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 03:08 pm (UTC)"I know, but the anger thing, the reason things break, that's tied in to your magic, right?"
He's practically squirming, glad the gym is practically empty.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 03:20 pm (UTC)"I was angry before I started deliberately using the Obscurus to do anything about it," he points out, quietly.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 03:22 pm (UTC)"Alright, so? You do now, right?"
Ray is under no illusion that he can help with the source of his anger.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 03:27 pm (UTC)"Yes. I do. But..."
He tries to figure out a No-Maj way to explain this.
"if I was an angry person with a gun, would you need to understand guns to talk to me?"
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 03:55 pm (UTC)"I can talk to you just fine," he replies, frowning. "But you say that smashing shit makes you feel better, plus you're afraid of hurting other people, so it ain't got anything to do with me getting you. You think I don't know how to talk to you?"
He might have a point, actually: he's been twisting himself in knots trying to figure out whether it matters, and he's mostly come out on the side of it does.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 04:02 pm (UTC)Credence gives him a look that borders on helpless.
"Do...you think you do?"
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 04:12 pm (UTC)He starts to say something, then bites his tongue, straightens up and frowns.
"I guess not. If you say I don't, I guess I don't."
He definitely didn't expect that to hurt.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 04:21 pm (UTC)"It's just...we don't need to talk about magic. Ever. My first warden didn't have magic so we just didn't talk about it. He taught me to play Mario Kart."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 04:25 pm (UTC)"...I dunno what that is, but okay," he says, blinking fast against-- what, exactly, he doesn't know. "Maybe that's why I wanted to take you boxing. 'Cause that's what I do at home, too. I work, I go boxing, I watch hockey."
Luckily his work is exciting to compensate for his empty social life.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 04:28 pm (UTC)"I've never seen hockey," Credence says quietly.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 04:32 pm (UTC)"We don't get cable here," he says, thinking it over. "I got... I got some old tapes, I think. From when I couldn't watch the game because of work."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 04:39 pm (UTC)"The library has discs," he says. "Of....everything. So, probably hockey. And the Enclosure might do it."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 04:48 pm (UTC)"The Enclosure could make a game, you think? That's better. That's way better-- you don't mind some cold, right?"
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 04:52 pm (UTC)"I grew up in New York," he points out, without sarcasm. "I don't mind the cold. And I think we could ask."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 05:02 pm (UTC)"You, um-- you wanna go put on a coat, check it out now?"
He feels strangely soft about this all. Like Credence is taking care of him.
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