She didn't think he would hold it against her, she was sure he wasn't hurt or angry about it, but still. It was something she needed to say, something to try to draw a line between the dark, angry feelings and thoughts she's been swamped with in the last few days.
She's supposed to be a Jedi, or at the least on her way to becoming one, and she's supposed to be a warden. Revenge, desires to cause pain, relishing in how good it felt to have the power to beat Kylo Ren back, those aren't supposed to be things she clings so tightly to.
"Then I'll just say thank you," she says, giving him another quick smile. "It was good to have you there that whole time."
It hadn't been comfortable, certainly, even compared to his own narrow little cot, but he didn't mind it - and, selfishly, he liked that he didn't have to worry about anyone's powers while he was down there. If he could have thought of an excuse, he might have stayed.
He murmurs a few words of grace, then picks up a sandwich.
It's good he doesn't say it, honestly, because that would start them down a path where she spent the rest of the visit insisting that wasn't true, trying to show him why.
"Would you tell me about him?"
Would you, not can you, not will you. She's not demanding it, not even framing it in a way that makes it seem like he has to right now if he doesn't want to. It hasn't been a hard lesson to learn that Credence will submit to anyone who happens to ask him to and the last thing Rey wants to do is take advantage of that, even on accident, without thinking.
That strikes her as very, very strange. All of the people she wouldn't want here, doesn't want here, are dangerous and bad people in very obvious ways. They don't take the time to be kind to people, not even Unkar Plutt, so the only reason she can think of Credence's mystery person being kind to him is that he must have been trying to trick him in some way.
Which, knowing him now, how he is, she can see that not being terribly difficult.
"He - he bought me food," Credence says, knowing he won't need to explain
to Rey what an enormously big deal that is. "I was hurt once, when I met
him, and he - healed me, with his magic."
He shuts his eyes. He hates how stupid he sounds to his own ears, how naive.
"He said he'd take me away from home and make me part of his world."
He doesn't need to explain. She'd understand just from the fact that there had been food, freely given, and knowing Credence even if there had been a trade he probably wouldn't have realized he'd made it, not when the gesture would have been the only thing he was thinking of. Credence isn't like her, he doesn't see those things through a lifetime of suspicion. Of course he only saw the good side.
Add to that the promise of being saved from what she can tell is horribly circumstances, being folded into somewhere he could belong-
She understands, and she moves her chair closer so she can reach out, put her hand gently on Credence's arm.
"And then, after all that, you found out who he really was."
"Newt was the one who told you," she repeats that softly, almost sadly, because if Newt had never come here how long would Credence have continued to misconstrue that relationship?
What would have happened if that man had come here, without there being someone to warn people? To warn Credence so he wouldn't fall right back into that trap?
"He...he told me he was looking for a child, a very powerful child," he
says. "If I found him, or her, then I would...he could...he said we'd be
free. But Mr Scamander told me that he would have used them to start a war."
And he would have helped. If Mr Graves had just been quiet and patient and
gentle to the end, he really might have.
She doesn't believe that. She has to believe that Credence would have seen that he was on the wrong side, that he would have eventually done the right thing. There's too much compassion in him for her to believe otherwise.
"Why did he think you'd be able to find them?" She asks him, unable to quite see that part of it. What was it that put Credence in a position to find someone so powerful?
"He told me he'd had a vision," he says, which Credence had just accepted,
because how would he know different? What magic could make possible was a
totally opaque world to him. Maybe people had visions all the time.
"He saw the child with my mother, and - he said I was the one who they
would trust. He said he saw us - to-together, in New York."
From the way Rey just nods, visions like that are something she accepts as real. She's had her own, after touching the lightsaber that had originally belonged to Anakin Skywalker.
She also knows they're hard to interpret and easier still to misconstrue as something you want to see rather than what might actually be real.
More important, though, is the fact that seems to be getting harder and harder on Credence, his stammering getting worse as he goes on, and Rey has never been good at noticing these things and more than that, she's never cared to look before, but with Credence? Even without having all that time with him as her company, keeping her sane, she'd still think twice about pressing him for more information.
"Credence, you know that you don't have to talk about these things if you don't want to, right? Your secrets and your story are your own, no one else has a right to them and you can keep them to yourself if you need to. You can tell me to stop."
It's not always healthy, but neither is being felt like you've been forced to say something before you're ready.
Rey says this. Credence hears: I'm getting tired of your self-pitying bleating, please shut up. Regardless, he'd never tell her to stop doing...anything, really.
"They're not really secrets, Miss Rey," he mumbles. Mr Scamander knows some of it; Elizabeth and Quentin and Tommy all know bits and pieces.
"Rey," she reminds him gently. And the last thing she'd meant to do was tell him to shut up, and that's immediately obvious when she just goes on trying to learn more about him. "I just meant that if you're uncomfortable, you can tell me. I had- it was difficult for me to open up for a long time."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2017-01-23 08:02 pm (UTC)She's supposed to be a Jedi, or at the least on her way to becoming one, and she's supposed to be a warden. Revenge, desires to cause pain, relishing in how good it felt to have the power to beat Kylo Ren back, those aren't supposed to be things she clings so tightly to.
"Then I'll just say thank you," she says, giving him another quick smile. "It was good to have you there that whole time."
no subject
Date: 2017-01-23 08:10 pm (UTC)It hadn't been comfortable, certainly, even compared to his own narrow little cot, but he didn't mind it - and, selfishly, he liked that he didn't have to worry about anyone's powers while he was down there. If he could have thought of an excuse, he might have stayed.
He murmurs a few words of grace, then picks up a sandwich.
OMG GMAIL HID THIS TAG I'M SO MAD
Date: 2017-01-30 07:10 pm (UTC)"Do you have someone like that in your world?" She asks him. "Someone dangerous you wouldn't want here?"
She wants to be able to protect him from them if they do ever show up.
GMAIL >:(
Date: 2017-01-30 07:41 pm (UTC)"...yes," he says, eventually. "There's...there's someone. But he's not - he hasn't - died."
stop hatin on touchfriends
Date: 2017-01-30 07:48 pm (UTC)"Would you tell me about him?"
Would you, not can you, not will you. She's not demanding it, not even framing it in a way that makes it seem like he has to right now if he doesn't want to. It hasn't been a hard lesson to learn that Credence will submit to anyone who happens to ask him to and the last thing Rey wants to do is take advantage of that, even on accident, without thinking.
no subject
Date: 2017-01-30 08:16 pm (UTC)"I..."
His brow furrows. He still can't work out how he feels, what he feels.
"I don't know what to say. I was told he's very dangerous, but...until the end, he was always...very kind to me."
no subject
Date: 2017-01-30 08:20 pm (UTC)Which, knowing him now, how he is, she can see that not being terribly difficult.
"Kind to you in what way?"
no subject
Date: 2017-01-30 08:28 pm (UTC)"He - he bought me food," Credence says, knowing he won't need to explain to Rey what an enormously big deal that is. "I was hurt once, when I met him, and he - healed me, with his magic."
He shuts his eyes. He hates how stupid he sounds to his own ears, how naive.
"He said he'd take me away from home and make me part of his world."
no subject
Date: 2017-01-30 08:34 pm (UTC)Add to that the promise of being saved from what she can tell is horribly circumstances, being folded into somewhere he could belong-
She understands, and she moves her chair closer so she can reach out, put her hand gently on Credence's arm.
"And then, after all that, you found out who he really was."
no subject
Date: 2017-01-30 09:01 pm (UTC)He's maybe taking the notion of his really being someone else a bit more literally than Rey.
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 07:32 am (UTC)What would have happened if that man had come here, without there being someone to warn people? To warn Credence so he wouldn't fall right back into that trap?
"What was he hiding?"
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 07:49 am (UTC)"He...he told me he was looking for a child, a very powerful child," he says. "If I found him, or her, then I would...he could...he said we'd be free. But Mr Scamander told me that he would have used them to start a war."
And he would have helped. If Mr Graves had just been quiet and patient and gentle to the end, he really might have.
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 07:54 am (UTC)"Why did he think you'd be able to find them?" She asks him, unable to quite see that part of it. What was it that put Credence in a position to find someone so powerful?
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 07:59 am (UTC)"He told me he'd had a vision," he says, which Credence had just accepted, because how would he know different? What magic could make possible was a totally opaque world to him. Maybe people had visions all the time.
"He saw the child with my mother, and - he said I was the one who they would trust. He said he saw us - to-together, in New York."
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 08:07 am (UTC)She also knows they're hard to interpret and easier still to misconstrue as something you want to see rather than what might actually be real.
More important, though, is the fact that seems to be getting harder and harder on Credence, his stammering getting worse as he goes on, and Rey has never been good at noticing these things and more than that, she's never cared to look before, but with Credence? Even without having all that time with him as her company, keeping her sane, she'd still think twice about pressing him for more information.
"Credence, you know that you don't have to talk about these things if you don't want to, right? Your secrets and your story are your own, no one else has a right to them and you can keep them to yourself if you need to. You can tell me to stop."
It's not always healthy, but neither is being felt like you've been forced to say something before you're ready.
no subject
Date: 2017-01-31 08:29 am (UTC)"They're not really secrets, Miss Rey," he mumbles. Mr Scamander knows some of it; Elizabeth and Quentin and Tommy all know bits and pieces.
no subject
Date: 2017-02-02 01:18 am (UTC)